Circus Doctors - a freewrite poem

a routine check up decided by sacrilegious people
determines the ultimate trajectory of my bone marrow,
it is juxtaposed with a flying circus full of clowns
and freaks that travels from cloud to cloud
scaring many and entertaining nobody.

as the doctors poke and prod my arms to find
what veins i have left for them to insert their needles
I am mortified by the memorization of a soliloquy
of swear words performed by a dancing bear whose
partner is a standard issue folding chair.

blood is drawn and the mind deceived as attractive
nurse pats my head with damp cloth and tells me how
I will ultimately leave this earth, she says in a rocket ship
piloted by Jesus to transition me through cannoned
trajectory to flying circus on a cumulonimbus cloud
formation, because only storm clouds house circus clowns
because all other clouds are scared of said clowns.

i drift into a daze as 100th vial is filled to the brim and I feel
the yanking of needle that tries to haphazardly lift my arms
and I assume I am being brought to the human cannon man
but instead I am deposited in wheel chair and pushed to the curb
and dumped forward like an important red wheel barrow
and the door man taps his feet on my backside to see if I
am dead or alive.

as i drool out spittle onto pavement, only there thanks to
tranquilizers delivered prior to operation that kept me
from simple human decency I can picture lion tamer
mauled by leopards and shit on by tigers, and its an
interesting comedy show that the french acrobats could
never hope to match.

one hand goes flat, so palm can level itself, and then me
in return when i use other one and i raise myself up as
the snow first begins to fall.  I'm weak from blood loss, deceptively
perceptive and I've discovered frost bite has consumed my toes.
doorman comes and says he's called the doctors to come take
a look, and i say no thanks, call them off, I'd rather keep my dead
toes than let them give me something else to lose,  door man says
some choice words, and i nod that he is right, and i limp
passed the emergency room sign and flip it the bird.

once in my car my foot can't use the peddle and I am too blind
to drive, i turn the key anyways and put it in neutral and let
myself glide where i may, but I don't get far and i think about
how it'd be cool, like the crows said, if an elephant could fly.