Be a Mountaineer - a poem

It's okay to be ashamed of yourself,
that you might have done something to harm someones emotions
in an act of anger, in a haphazard way as you tried
to navigate your own mind.
Be ashamed and feel guilty that you screwed-up
allow the retrospection to cross your mind and be big enough
to admit you faulted and failed, and have faith
that your person may be willing to forgive you
but do not take advantage of grace. That is the key
to entrusting another with your mistakes,
do not get away with it, for that is not the point,
introspection, inspection, scrutinize the motive and come to understand
that you felt as you did because you allowed your self to come
to a place where you couldn't relinquish a moment
to communicate. Screwing up is human, mistake making
is human, but an admittance, that drop of the stomach,
that sinking feeling that you disappointed them,
made it worse yourself by acting a fool in the face of irrational
thought. Don't be alarmed if they don't give you an easy
out, for if you know you messed up a moment, they too
are allowed to consider your action, to debate it in their minds,
and to forgive if they feel you have earned that right. Never take it for granted
their grace. Never do that, for graceful hands can only take so much,
and they should be held more than they are hindered,
and I know I myself have had to come to terms with my own mind,
to debate my motives in saying the wrong thing,
and to scrutinize what fear it was that led me to be rude.

Maybe my perceived infliction is less than I claim it to be,
and maybe it is just the right amount of injury,
but it is important to know when to admit that you were wrong,
when I was wrong, and I want to be strong enough of a human being
to say that I was wrong, than to go my whole life being wrong
and saying I was right. And be forever thankful that she looks
at you the way she does, and be forever conscious of that look of hurt
when you were mean sometimes, but don't destroy yourself with guilt
because that isn't how this works. I am forever searching myself,
but then I see a photo of us, from just the day before,
and I remember that my momentary lapses into rudeness,
are not the norm for me, and she knows, and she's always known,
but never excuse it, never excuse it, never excuse it,
own up to it, acknowledge it, mend it so you can mend them,
and hold them close, because you are not the sum of your mistakes
and you strive to be the man she wants, and needs, and you will
make mistakes upon that climb, and she will love you,
as long as you climb climb climb.